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The White Flag in my Battle with Perfectionism Part 2

In my previous post, I said this is not about perfectionism, because it’s really about all kinds of thinking. I saw something about the nature of Thought in that moment. I have since seen more things about the nature of Thought and I have looked to the Principle of it. I have realized that I had reduced my understanding of the principles to strategy and I had lost the magic. My life was positive and together with moments of magic (which I was strategically grateful for). I was going for something, it was unconscious but I was going for a particular life of a particular feeling and particular outcomes. I thought I knew what I wanted, what it was supposed to look like. I realized that all of that thinking about that illusion was creating a feeling. A generally imperceptible feeling that is perceptible now only because of its absence.

I am beginning to be suspect of the feeling of burden when I get into the “I think I know how life should be”. I really don’t know what I should think next. I feel free and not in charge. I mean little “i”. Somehow “i” don’t know but “I” do. And as I have seen how simple it all is, how simply it all works it has come into a singular vision. That clears my head. It takes things off my mind. It allows me to live in an unhindered feeling, except when I forget (and when I forget that there’s nothing to be done either).

As I have been seeing the simplicity of the principles and realizing the profundity of seeing that my feeling is coming from my thinking I’m realizing that everything I’m thinking is just me making it up. That’s new. I thought I was thinking “truth”. As that’s changed I’m realizing I don’t know.

To gain a true understanding of the simple fact that the only thing we can or need to know in life is our feeling and that our feeling can’t come from anywhere else but thought in the moment. I’m starting to wonder what else you could possibly know in life. There seems little else worth knowing, especially when knowing this does so much for me. It’s a funny thing when you’re witness to a shift from complexity to simplicity. You can’t imagine how it could have been any other way… until you get lost again!