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Listening in Parenting | Deepening Your Connection Through Presence

Listening in Parenting: Deepening Your Connection Through Presence

One of the most vital aspects of parenting is the ability to truly listen to your child. However, in today’s world, where distractions are everywhere—whether from work, technology, or daily responsibilities—it can be easy to only half-listen or miss out on important cues from our children. We might think we’re listening because we hear the words they say, but we can often fail to tune in to what they really mean or feel.

The Three Principles—Mind, Thought, and Consciousness—offer a fresh perspective on what it means to listen to our children. They show us that listening is more than just hearing words; it’s about being fully present, attuned to the whole experience of the moment, and connected at a deeper level. By deepening our awareness of how thought shapes our experience and expanding our consciousness, we can enhance our ability to listen fully, building stronger and more trusting relationships with our children.

Thought and Listening: The Impact of Our Inner Dialogue

Our ability to listen deeply is directly affected by the thoughts we are holding in the moment. When we are distracted by our own concerns, tasks, or judgments—whether we’re thinking about work, planning dinner, or wondering why our child is acting out—we may hear the words they say but miss the true essence of what they are communicating. Our mind is somewhere else, preoccupied with the noise of our own thinking.

The Three Principles teach us that these distracting thoughts are not fixed or permanent—they are fleeting mental events that can pull us away from being fully present. When we see that our thoughts are responsible for taking us out of the moment, we gain the power to let go of them. This allows us to return to the present, fully focused on what our child is saying, not just with words but also with body language, tone, and unspoken emotions.

When we let go of our internal dialogue, we open ourselves to really hearing and connecting with our children. This act of being present helps create an environment where our child feels safe, understood, and valued. They feel heard, not just in the literal sense but emotionally and relationally.

Consciousness: Expanding Awareness as Parents

Consciousness is the principle that allows us to become aware of our thoughts and their impact on our experience as parents. It gives us the ability to notice when we are truly listening to our child and when we are distracted by our own thinking. This awareness is key to deepening our connection with our children, as it enables us to become more mindful of how our mental state affects our ability to be present with them.

When we are caught up in our own thoughts, we might unintentionally react to our child in ways that don’t align with how we actually want to parent. For example, we may snap at them out of frustration because we are preoccupied with a stressful situation at work. However, when we become conscious of this, we create space between our thoughts and our reactions. This space allows us to respond with more patience, understanding, and empathy, instead of reacting out of stress or frustration.

By expanding our consciousness, we become better equipped to tune in to our child’s words, emotions, and needs. We begin to understand not just what they are saying, but why they are saying it. This deeper understanding fosters a stronger, more authentic connection with our children, helping them feel truly seen and valued.

Mind: Trusting the Deeper Wisdom Behind Listening

At the heart of effective listening in parenting is the deeper wisdom of Mind—the universal intelligence that guides all of life. Mind is always present, offering us the insight and clarity we need to connect with our children. When we trust in this deeper wisdom, we stop trying to control conversations or predict outcomes. Instead, we allow ourselves to be fully present, confident that the right responses will arise naturally.

Trusting in Mind shifts our approach to listening. Rather than trying to fix a problem, offer solutions, or control how the conversation unfolds, we simply listen with an open mind. This openness creates a sense of trust and safety in our relationship with our child. They sense that we are fully present with them, not distracted by our own thoughts, and that we are available to connect with them on a deeper level.

By listening from a place of presence, guided by the wisdom of Mind, we also model for our children what it means to truly listen. They learn that conversations aren’t just about exchanging information—they are about building relationships, fostering understanding, and creating a sense of mutual respect and trust.

Listening and Connection: A Foundation for Stronger Relationships

Listening is one of the most powerful ways to create connection in our relationships with our children. When they feel that we are fully present, paying attention, and open to hearing them, it strengthens their trust in us. They feel understood, supported, and validated, which in turn encourages them to open up more, share their thoughts and feelings, and rely on us for guidance and comfort.

True listening, grounded in the Three Principles, also helps us see beyond our child’s behavior to the innocence and wisdom beneath it. When we are fully present, we can recognize when a child’s words or actions are coming from a place of confusion, fear, or frustration. This understanding allows us to approach them with greater compassion and patience, rather than reacting impulsively out of our own frustration or worry.

Conclusion: Deepening Your Connection Through Presence

Listening in parenting is about more than just hearing words—it’s about being fully present with your child, letting go of distracting thoughts, and tuning in to their emotions, needs, and unspoken cues. By understanding the role of thought and expanding our consciousness, we can become more aware of when we are truly listening and when we are distracted by our own mental noise. And by trusting in the wisdom of Mind, we allow ourselves to listen deeply, creating stronger, more meaningful connections with our children.

The more we practice listening from a place of presence and openness, the more our relationships with our children will flourish. They will feel heard, understood, and valued, which is the foundation for healthy, trusting, and loving relationships.